Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
