My pussy is not your playground.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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