i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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