capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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