he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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