Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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