He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
