So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize