Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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