I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
