It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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