I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
