my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
