break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
