plz talk dirty to me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
being pregnant is like rehab
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
