How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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