I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize