If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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