brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
