I'm laying in your front yard are you home
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
