his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
