everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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