Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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