there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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