...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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