singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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