After last night, I could never be a politician.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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