okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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