u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
