Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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