I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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