question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
