I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
