WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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