Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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