Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
