woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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