All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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