this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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