Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
