Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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