Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
