Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
