Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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