Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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