FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
