Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
