At least make sure they are 18
Why
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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