Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
