Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
