I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
