so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
