what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
