Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just high enough for therapy.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
