I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
