Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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