what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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