yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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