My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i think i just lost a toe
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
