4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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