so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
