I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
